I remember pulling up to the apartment in Texas in June 2019.

My car was packed. Everything I owned shoved into the backseat, front seat and trunk. I had just met the guy I found online who was going to be my roommate, shook his hand, tried to act normal.

Then I got back in my car, closed the door, and just sat there.

Because here is what led up to that moment.

Before I ever made that drive I had already made a harder decision. I told my mom I was walking away. Not forever but for me. Because we were not in a good place and mentally I could not keep doing it.

That decision broke something in me and at the same time it was the first time I had ever chosen myself.

So I packed my car with everything that could fit and I drove to Texas. ALONE.

First time living on my own. First time being away from home like that. First time not being in a relationship. Just... me.

And y'all... I was terrified.

Sitting in that car, miles away from home, realizing the only person I knew in that entire state was my best friend, this thought hit me hard:

No safety net, no backup plan and no familiar faces. Just silence and the weight of everything I had just done.

But underneath the fear there was something else.

Something quieter. Something steady.

Not because it was easy but because I could not grow in the life I was living.

Here is what that moment taught me:

You can love people and still need space from them. You can care deeply and still choose yourself. That does not make you a bad person. It makes you someone who is finally listening to what you actually need.

My relationship with my mom is still something I am working through. It is not perfect but it is different now because I have boundaries and I actually keep them. Back then I had none. I thought being good meant sacrificing myself, keeping the peace, staying quiet, and ignoring what I felt.

But that version of me was exhausted, burnt out and completely lost.

That move did not fix everything but it forced me to meet myself. Without distractions, without people to hide behind, and without the same patterns playing out on repeat.

And here is the truth most people do not want to hear:

Growth will feel like a mistake before it feels like a breakthrough.

Because it is unfamiliar, it is uncomfortable and it asks you to become someone you have never been before.

Most people are stuck between two worlds... the life they know is not working and the life they are terrified to step into, and they sit in that space overthinking, second-guessing, and waiting for certainty that never comes.

But clarity does not come before the decision.

It comes after.

PROUD OF YOU 💙

Walking with you,

Leasha

P.S. If this resonates, reply and tell me: where in your life do you know you need to choose yourself but you are scared to?