I did something recently that scared the hell out of me.

I deleted over 300 people from this email list.

Not by accident. A deliberate, eyes-open, deep-breath-first decision.

I went from 706+ subscribers to around 402. In minutes.

And the second I did it, I felt something I haven't felt in a while.

I exhaled.

Like, actually exhaled. The kind of breath that comes from somewhere below your chest when you finally stop holding on to something that wasn't working.

Here's the thing I want you to hear:

For months, I was writing these emails in survival mode.

Trying to keep everyone. Trying not to lose anyone. Performing for a room full of people who'd already left and dimming what I actually wanted to say because I was afraid the real version of it would push someone away.

Sound familiar?

Because that's the pattern, isn't it?

You keep showing up. You keep holding it together. You keep saying "I'm fine" while something underneath is screaming.

You manage the anxiety. You muscle through the mood swings. You perform so well that nobody around you even thinks to ask if you're okay.

And the whole time, you're running a story in your head that says,

I know that story. I've lived in that story.

Recently, I decided to change one word in mine.

I stopped saying "I can't let go" and started saying "I can let go." And when I heard myself say it that clearly, I realized I'd been choosing the cage.

So I opened the door.

Three hundred people who weren't reading. Gone. Not because they're bad people but because holding on to them was costing me something.

It was costing me the ability to write honestly to the people who are actually here.

People like you.

You're reading this on a Saturday evening, which means you didn't survive the cut; you're the reason I made it.

I'd rather have 100 people in this room who are ready to stop surviving and start choosing than 10,000 who just want to scroll.

Something is shifting here.

In this newsletter. In me. And I think if you're still reading this, something might be shifting in you too.

So here's what I want to ask you:

What's the one story you keep telling yourself that you know isn't true anymore?

Not the polished version. Not the "I should be grateful" version. The real one. The one that runs on repeat at 2 am.

Hit reply. Tell me.

Because sometimes the first step out of survival mode is just saying the thing out loud to someone who actually gets it.

I'm here. I get it.

And if someone you love is stuck in that place where they're holding everything together and quietly falling apart, forward them this email. They need to know there's a room where that's allowed.

PROUD OF YOU 💙

Walking with you,

Leasha

P.S. My CMS Daily Check-In

CORE: 1

CLARITY: 1

CONNECTION: 1

CREATION: 1

Total: 4 / 4