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If you are new here... WELCOME. 💙 I am really glad you are here, and I mean that. Before anything else, hit reply and tell me what brought you here. Was it something you read? Something you are going through? Something you are trying to change? I read every single reply, and I genuinely want to know. I had coffee with a friend today, someone who is a few steps ahead of me in this space, and at one point in the conversation I was just being honest about where I'm at. Not performing, not packaging it up nicely, just being real. And he stopped me and said: "The fact that you're even aware of this puts you ahead of most people." And I just sat there with that for a second, because something about the way he said it landed differently than I expected. Here's what I've been thinking about ever since I got home. Most people are not aware. Not because they're incapable of it, but because nobody ever taught them that awareness was even an option. They're running patterns that were handed to them before they were old enough to question them. They're reacting to life instead of responding to it. They're moving fast enough that they never have to stop and actually feel what's happening underneath. That was me for a long time. FOG doesn't feel like fog when you're in it. It just feels like Monday. It feels like normal. It feels like this is just who I am and how life goes and you keep moving because stopping feels more dangerous than staying lost. Awareness is the thing that breaks that open. Not therapy, not a framework, not a perfectly structured morning routine... awareness first. The moment you can look at a pattern and say I see what's happening here is the moment everything becomes possible that wasn't possible before. You can't change what you can't see and most people are moving too fast and hurting too quietly to ever stop and look. The reason I do this work, the coaching, the community, these emails, is because I know what it costs to live without that awareness. I spent years reacting to my own life like it was happening to someone else, wondering why nothing ever really changed no matter how hard I tried and the missing piece was never effort. I had plenty of that. The missing piece was the ability to stop, see myself clearly, and tell the truth about what I was actually doing and why. That's what changes everything. And if you're here, reading this, something in you already knows that. Something brought you to this door. That's not an accident and it's not nothing... that pull toward something different, that quiet sense that there has to be another way, that is awareness trying to get your attention. Don't ignore it. You are already ahead of where you think you are. The fact that you're even here tells me that. Now we just keep going. PROUD OF YOU 💙 Walking with you, Leasha P.S. My CMS Daily Check-In CORE: 1 CLARITY: 1 CONNECTION: 1 CREATION: 1 Total: 4 / 4 |
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It took me years to figure out what I actually needed. Every time I went to see a doctor or a therapist, I walked out with a new label and a new prescription. Nobody ever sat with me long enough to look at what was actually going on underneath. Nobody ever asked the harder questions. I just kept getting handed more medication and sent back out into a life that still felt impossible to live. And I kept trying to make it work because I did not know there was another way. In 2020 I hit a point...
Confession: we did not make it to the gym last night. We played pickleball, hung out, talked with friends, and by the time we got home I was just tired. So we went to bed. Old me would have turned that into a whole thing. "You are not disciplined. You are falling off. You are messing this up." You know the voice. The one that takes one missed step and turns it into evidence that you are fundamentally failing at life. But here is what actually happened... we went to the gym today. We still...
I am sitting in a booth right now waiting to play pickleball, typing this on my wife's laptop. Because I knew if I waited until we got home tonight, gym after pickleball, late night, tired... this email was not getting sent and I missed a day recently and I told myself I was not doing that again. So here I am in a booth with my wife's laptop. Pickleball in 30 minutes. And my brain still tried to talk me out of it. "Just skip today. You can do it later. No one will notice." That right there?...