Okay, so first things first... yesterday's email didn't happen, and I'm just going to own that completely. We got home at 1 AM and the only thing getting written at that hour was my name on the pillow. You deserved an email and instead you got silence, so here we are, making up for it today. We move.

Now let me tell you about the night that made it all worth it.

It was my friend's birthday, and we went to karaoke, about 20 of us, and if you know me at all, you know that social anxiety is something I've been fighting my whole life.

I don't like being the center of attention. I don't like all eyes on me. I get anxious, I get in my head, and for most of my life I let that feeling make every single decision for me.

A year ago and I NEED you to hear this:

If I had known it was a karaoke night, I wouldn't have walked through that door. I would have stayed home alone, and then spent the rest of the night beating myself up for it, drowning in guilt and shame, hating myself for missing another moment because fear got there first.

That was the cycle. Show up for anxiety, miss out on life, feel terrible about it, and repeat it all over again the next time.

Last night I broke the cycle one moment at a time.

I walked in nervous, but I walked in. Her husband and my friend got me up on stage early, before the room really filled up and I thought, okay, I did my part, I'm done, I bought myself the rest of the night.

That is absolutely not what happened.

I ended up on that stage multiple times over four hours, and every single time, all I could do was stare at the screen even on songs I know every single word to because I could feel everybody looking at me and it made my skin crawl. But I stayed up there. I didn't run or shrink.

I want to be really clear about something: I don't drink. I'm sober. There was no liquid courage involved in any of this. It was just me, my nervous system, and a decision that anxiety doesn't get to drive anymore.

This morning I woke up to a text from her that said:

I just sat with that for a minute, because that moment... that text, that night, that look on her face when I was up on that stage, none of it would exist if I had listened to anxiety. I would have been home alone missing all of it, and she never would have had this fun memory of us.

That's what fear actually costs. It doesn't just steal from you. It steals from everyone who needed you to show up.

I'm telling you this because I know some of you are standing at a door right now, and maybe it's not karaoke. Maybe it's a conversation you keep avoiding, a room you keep almost walking into, a version of yourself you keep almost becoming.

And anxiety is doing what it always does, making a very convincing argument for why you should just go home.

You can be terrified and still walk through the door. You can stare at the screen the whole time and still call it a win. You can shake the whole way through and still be exactly the person your people needed you to be.

That's not fearlessness. That's FIRE.

I am so proud of myself, and I am so proud of you for still being here, still doing the work, and still choosing to rewrite the story even on the days it feels impossible.

We're doing this.

PROUD OF YOU 💙

Walking with you,

Leasha