Whew. What a weekend. It's Sunday. Time changed last night. I'm running on fumes and I have zero regrets. If you didn't get an email from me yesterday, that's why. Birthday weekend. My wife had the entire thing planned and we were basically gone from Friday until right now. Friday night we did a little staycation. Saturday... paintball (I am still feeling that today 😅), dinner, then games at a friend's house until way too late. This morning, pickleball with another couple. Tonight, a couple...
7 days ago • 2 min read
Today is my 37th birthday. I didn't sleep much last night. Not because anything was wrong. I think I was just… excited. I woke up feeling good. My wife took a half day and apparently has the entire weekend planned out to celebrate. Around here we celebrate everything and I am not complaining about that one bit. But before I go do that, I want to share something with you. When I signed up for the Enlifted coaching certification, I had hope that it could help me. I did not realize how powerful...
9 days ago • 2 min read
A friend texted me yesterday and asked if I wanted to grab coffee this morning. So we did. We walked around for a bit, sat down, caught up. It's been a minute since we've hung out. At some point the conversation turned to the certification I'm doing and my brother. If you've been here for a while, you know this part of my story. For 24 years, talking about my brother has felt like someone grabbing my throat from the inside. Every time I tried, the words would get stuck. I'd choke up. Tears...
10 days ago • 2 min read
Let me be honest with you. I've been in FOG lately off and on. Not rock bottom. Not falling apart. Just… disconnected. From my clarity. From my power. From the version of me I know exists. And I know some of you are there right now too. So let's talk about it. FOG is not failure. FOG is what happens when we drift from ourselves. It feels like: Low energy with no obvious reason why "I'll deal with it later" becoming your default Overthinking decisions you used to make easily Numbing out....
12 days ago • 1 min read
A week ago, I did something I had never done before. I wrote out the day my brother died. January 6th, 2002. I was 12. He was 16. We were in the car together. I survived. He didn't. For years, I was told that time would heal it. That I was lucky to be alive. That he would want me to move on. But nobody taught a 12-year-old girl how to process guilt. Or anger. Or the kind of numbness that quietly becomes your whole personality. Or the thought that lives so deep inside you that you are ashamed...
14 days ago • 3 min read
It's Saturday. And you're cleaning the house. Or running errands. Or sitting on the couch pretending you're "relaxing" but your brain won't shut up. I used to hate Saturdays. Too much space. Too much quiet. Weekdays were easier because I could stay busy. Busy meant I didn't have to feel the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be. I remember sitting in my car in a grocery store parking lot, engine off, staring at nothing. Not crying. Not dramatic. Just heavy. Thinking, "Is this it?...
15 days ago • 1 min read
Let me guess. You have said some version of this lately. "I just feel stuck." "I don't even know where to start." "I know something needs to change… I just don't know what." So you do what you always do. You research. You journal. You download the app. You listen to the podcast on the way to work and feel fired up for exactly forty-five minutes. You tell yourself next week will be different. And then next week comes. And nothing moves. Here is the hard truth that nobody is telling you: You...
16 days ago • 1 min read
I am still processing. And I almost did not write this today. Because honestly? I do not have a clean lesson for you. I do not have a breakthrough moment wrapped up with clarity and a bow on top. What I have is this week. And this week has been heavy. Sunday, I had a call that cracked something open in me. Then, a follow-up call today that cracked it open a little more. There are things happening with me processing the loss of my brother right now that I am still sitting with, emotions I have...
17 days ago • 2 min read
I’m going to be honest... I hit my limit yesterday. I’m in this Enlifted coaching certification. Small cohort. Nine of us. Weekly live calls. Exercises. Reading out loud. Speaking. Participating. Every week I push through the social anxiety. The chest tightening. Gerald telling me to retreat. And I show up. But this week? After my one-on-one session, the friendship situation, not sleeping well, and the emotional pile-up… I was already maxed out before the call even started. By the end, we had...
18 days ago • 1 min read