For most of my life I thought I was just tired. Not tired like I needed more sleep. Tired like I was dragging something heavy everywhere I went and could not figure out what it was or why it would not go away no matter what I did. I just assumed that was life. Nobody told me any different. Here's some of what I was actually carrying. I was 10 years old when my parents got divorced and it was not the quiet kind. I got put in the middle of it. Things were said to me that a 10 year old should...
2 days ago • 2 min read
Before this week starts I want to say something directly to you. Not a framework or a lesson. Just this. If you spent last week feeling like you were failing... like you kept messing up... like you tried and fell short and ended up right back in the same place you always end up... I need you to hear this before Monday hits. Nothing is wrong with you. You are not lazy, broken or the exception to every rule. You are not someone who just cannot change no matter how hard you try. You are someone...
3 days ago • 1 min read
Saturday behind the scenes. We were supposed to leave for Maine tonight. A trip we had been looking forward to for weeks. Friends we have not seen in a while, a different environment, some space from everything that has been heavy lately. My wife and I just needed to get away... away from the grind, away from the situation with our friends here that has been sitting on both of us, and away from the constant go go go that has been our life lately. The car situation this week killed it. So...
4 days ago • 2 min read
I have been thinking about a specific person today. Someone who is tired of feeling like the past still has control over them. Like certain places, songs, smells, or faces can send them right back into a feeling they have been trying to escape for years. Someone who has been carrying it alone for so long that they have started to wonder if this is just how it is going to be forever. It is not. If that sounds like where you are right now... reply and just tell me what you are carrying. I am...
6 days ago • 1 min read
I have been on a high all day and I have to tell you why. I ran into my client's mom this morning and the moment she saw me she made a beeline straight over and just could not stop talking. She told me she has her daughter back. She told me that in a short amount of time she has watched her daughter transform in ways she did not think were possible. That they are having real conversations again. That something had happened and the hugs had stopped... and she is getting hugs again. She almost...
6 days ago • 1 min read
Everyone says it like it is that simple. "Take a deep breath." "Relax." "Don't let it get to you." Sounds good. Looks great on Instagram. Completely useless when your nervous system is already on fire. Because here is what nobody talks about: you cannot just stay calm when your body is already flooded. That is not a choice at that point. That is biology. And for years that advice made me feel broken. Like something was fundamentally wrong with me. Because I would try to stay calm... and then...
7 days ago • 2 min read
Let me tell you what today looked like. A few days ago we dropped a chunk of money getting our car fixed. New tires, alignment, back brakes. Then my wife goes out to do deliveries and calls me, the car is acting up. Long story short, the alternator is bad and we had to get it towed home. So today I bought the part online, had our neighbor drive me to pick it up, found a mobile mechanic to come to us, and while he was working on the car I was outside mowing our overgrown lawn. 30 minutes...
8 days ago • 2 min read
I remember pulling up to the apartment in Texas in June 2019. My car was packed. Everything I owned shoved into the backseat, front seat and trunk. I had just met the guy I found online who was going to be my roommate, shook his hand, tried to act normal. Then I got back in my car, closed the door, and just sat there. Because here is what led up to that moment. Before I ever made that drive I had already made a harder decision. I told my mom I was walking away. Not forever but for me. Because...
9 days ago • 2 min read
Something came up in a session this week that I have not been able to stop thinking about. My client said she felt lazy and I stopped her right there. Because I know that word. I used to live inside that word and I needed her to see what I saw when she said it. This is what I told her and I want to tell you the same thing before this week starts. You are not lazy. You are doing the kind of work most people spend their entire lives avoiding and that kind of work does not always look like...
10 days ago • 1 min read